Ill

Something's wrong with me. I always get this nauseating feeling after meals. It's like I have frogs in my stomach waiting to jump out anytime. I just feel so sick right now.

Today is one of those happy days that I've never had in such a long time. Having friends around take things off my mind. Eventhough it was for that little while, I still feel happy. And no KC, I don't strut like a model. I walk like a duck. Quack quack! Wtf.

Right I feel very sick right now. Better go. Ta.

I miss

waking you up for classes

late night phone calls

your smell on my pillow

going to uni together

Saturdays

waiting for your classes to end

going to classes with you

disturbing you during Arsenal games

merajuking you

hugging you to sleep

your reaction when I playfully slap you

biting you on your arms and ask "pain ah?" just to see the look on your face

and bite again when you say "you think?"

poking fun of your hairy arms

watching you sleep

you rushing me to get ready and simply layan me with "okay la. you look fine la. no need to see yourself in the mirror so many times la"

the way you look at me

you asking me to sit with you when we watch tv

how you need to hold me to sleep everytime

you singing to me

those skirt covering moments

having Tom Yam ramen with you in Jusco

our beef noodles moments together

shopping with you

dinner at your place with you around

your touch

our long conversations through sms

the smell of your face

you nagging me to read the papers

the Minda Ceria guy I met and love 6 yrs ago

the look on your face when you know the face towel is still in the washer

how you always pull my top higher to hide my cleavage

our moments of nothingness

the way you tried to take off my ring without me noticing

holding hands in the car

resting my head on your shoulder

choosing what you wear after shower

massaging your neck and back

most importantly i miss your presence.

How do you know if the owner of the table is a man?

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Look at the mirror.

Hahahahaha!

Marketing

Today's class was 2Hs -Horny and Hillarious. The horny bugger (lecturer) decided to keep us awake by giving us doses of his urm....dirty humour. He showed us pictures of roses he found on the net and then everyone noticed something. At the very bottom right corner of the picture of the roses was a book named Karma Sutra. He was praying that someone would notice. Who wouldn't la?! Then he laughed and said "I know you guys must be thinking of the 4P's right now". I was scratching my head. How can a Karma Sutra be related to 4P's (in marketing term it means Price, Product, Promotion, Place)? Then he said "Should be 2P's. Pain and Pleasure." Wtf right? And he showed us this website where you can order flowers online and he was trying to show us this edible underwear in the form of a rose he found on that site 2 weeks ago. And he wanted to show us tv commercials on Viagra too. Definitely a horny bugger.

The library has changed! There is another entrance now, without a door. So we won't have to deal with the noisy doors anymore. Yays! But a little dusty inside because there is still some construction thingy goin on nearby. So not a good thing at the moment. And and...the straight road heading to campus is opened for use now but it is still under construction here and there.

And and..I'm sleepy. Class at 9 tomorrow. Dreadful.


Walking through those hallways, I dreamt of holding your hand.

Rants

It has never been this hard. I spent the day tearing and wondering. And this particular girl said something which immediately stopped the tears from oozing out. It is true that no matter how much I cry, it will still be the same because there's nothing I can do about it. And I was thinking, is this it? No. There's so much more in my life. I'm sorry that I've been acting strange recently. I'm sorry that I ignored you. I'm sorry for being rude. I'm sorry for failing to see how much you all love me. I'm sorry for not realizing that it was all done to make me feel better. I love you too.

---------------

Oh i was watching channel 76 on astro (I still can't remember what that channel is called eventhough I watch it so often. What a complete loser.) and Anna Nicole Smith was bleh. Why did anyone think she's hot if you rule out the fact that she has big tits? Care to entertain me? And she showed her son nude pictures of her just so he wouldn't look at it elsewhere. Yeah la she meant porn la. But wtf? Wouldn't it be weird if your son wank at your nude pics? And she dare said that her son had all her posters and pictures pasted on his bedroom walls. Wtf?! Celebrity parents have parenting issues.

Me me me

I am very certain that I am indeed a city girl. Growing up in a city, I'm always spoilt with choices. Oh yes, it's about me again (self absorbed bitch I am). From what to eat, where to shop and heck, even which cubicle to pee in wtf (okay la not much choices because we have this f*cking long queue for toilets in shopping malls). Somehow after returning to the uluness of Semenyih, I'm sad to say that it's the life of a tarzan. I really have to thank God and not to forget my Kelvin dearest for saving me from this hell. Hallelujah! Because of you I wouldn't have to stay in Semenyih. Because of you I wouldn't have to worry of what to have for breakfast, lunch, dinner and and and....SUPPER! I wouldn't have to worry of having insects flying about in my room. I wouldn't have to worry about who will clean up my mess. But the only thing that I need to worry bout is WHERE TO PARK MY CAR EVERY MONDAY TO WEDNESDAY MORNING BECAUSE NOTTINGHAM'S PARKING LOT IS A BITCH. Yeah, you heard me. I won't complain because there is no use. I just needed to rant here. Period.

First week of classes and I am already stressed out. So many things to consider. Which optional to take, how's baby doing, how much to study, which topic to choose for assignment, which tutorial classes to go to, where to park, when to call baby, when can't call, and....what to wear (wtf).

Oh before I forget, Vanessa Hudgen's nipples look really weird. And her boobs are incredibly high on her chest. No wonder it's so easy to see her cleavage in high school musical even without push up bras. All you need is a pair of boobs 10cm from your neck baby! I have better boobs wtf. According to Hui Mann she dropped out of school at the age of 12. Oh yeah, I miss you Hui Mann!

Right before I stray further away, I am really starting to feel the pinch. I need to be strong and focus. I know I can because I am my mom's daughter. Hahaha.

When you're gone

Last night was dreadful. The entire journey, the goodbyes, the hugs, the kisses, the last touch. As if it wasn't bad enough the radio had to play this song..

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do, reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me



Baby, do you know how it feels like to lie in your bed without you?

When reality hits

It's already past 12am. Counting days - one more to go. I'm gonna miss you my boo.

My 21st birthday

The title sounded like some 7 yr old essay topic. Wtf.
Okay, on to the pics..

I celebrated my birthday with

the poser bf

at this

posh restaurant overlooking kl skyline

and we played

some mindless camwhoring

then went back home and

did some cake blowing, cutting cum eating sessions

followed by

me disturbing him watched tv.

Me love..

I'm officially legal for anything!!!! Muahahhahahha! Suckers!

Bye love!

The ice kacang was

Vacation training

It's been quite some time since I ended my training programme with x-company (one of the top audit firms). I have always wanted to blog about my experience with them but I hesitated because blogging about work would only mean one thing - career suicide (according to kennysia). But heck, I'm not even a permanent staff of the company why should I care?


When I first joined the company as a vacation trainee, I only had one thing in my mind....I NEED SOMETHING ON MY RESUME. Yeah. That's the sole reason for me to actually work. Btw, speaking of this, I was quite offended when I last chatted with Mei May because according to her, my friends found it quite surprising and shocking for me to actually get a proper job. What now? I can't work? Seriously I take it as an insult. Nuff said.


Anyways, I thought this could be a wonderful experience as a trainee in a proper firm, whatmore they are one of the top. Boy, was I wrong. First, as a trainee, I worked OT everyday til 10pm, the latest being 11pm. EVERY FUCKING DAY. Yes you heard me. Never did I leave work at 5.30pm as stated in the contract. NEVER. So if I were to sue them I could have won the case. Oh well.


Let's not talk bout OT because it doesn't really matter. What bothered me was that as a VT i expected to be guided in a way or two but heck no. I was left to do my job all by myself since day one under minimal supervision. When I made some minor mistakes, all I got was scoldings and accusations. They really expect a trainee to know it all huh? If I were to know what to do I would have be in their positions as senior executives and managers. Do I need to go through all the shits to get training from their company? I don't think so. I guess this issue alone makes the VT programme lost its purpose.


Not forgetting the insults and offensive remarks I get everyday from the superiors. "Use your brain" "Where's your common sense?" "Think!" Yeah. If you were to ask me, I would say I have bigger brains that you. Think? When it comes to denial and accusations I think they are the best at it. I hate being accused for something that I did not do whatmore being accused of something that THEY INSTRUCTED WRONGLY. It irks me when people say one thing and does another. In this case, they instructed me one thing and when the upper management found it wrong, they put the blame on other people aka me. Wonderful isn't it? Just because I am a VT. Oh well, I guess someone has to take the blame no? *Akon's Sorry, blame it on me playing in the background*


Another reason for not working for this company is that the system sucks. Oh wait, they have no system at all. I have to report to 3 superiors. And every one of them often gives different instructions which resulted in conflicts and misunderstandings. And me being a VT always being pushed around because the people kept changing their minds and ended up with multiple decisions. This is even more wonderful than having multiple orgasm I tell you. Top firm? My ass. Not to mention I am being treated as a kuli. Heck! Even kulis get better pay okay! No I am not gonna mention my job scope but I deserve higher pay than just that mere RM500. New joiners get RM1500 and above and dare I say they do less. They chit chat more, go to the loo more, go home earlier than I do, tasks are easier to handle, push all the tasks to me and get blame less. Why would a company hire procastinators? I don't know. Don't ask me.

However, I really enjoyed working with my fellow colleagues, which I think only 2 of them because I worked closely with them. And the only thing that I'd learned throughout this whole vacation training programme is that it really takes a lot of patience to work in such firm as there are a lot of politics going on in the department itself. There are even medusa and two faced monsters. Sometimes you really have to let it go and just gulp down whatever hatred or discontentment or grudges that you have inside. It really changed my whole perception of the firm. Maybe different firms hold different agendas/systems but I would like to thank them for such pleasant/unpleasant experience. From the bottom of my heart.

Big girls don't cry

=)

Again..

The feeling is back again. Do I have to endure this every year? So many times I told myself not to think about it and yet it will come to me. Not thinking about it doesn't mean that it won't happen. And thinking about it makes me a sad person.

How long more do we have to do this?

I am

sad...

he/she said

"u are a real fucked up person"


yeah i am. so your point is?

Genting trip

Genting was okay but rather boring. Maybe I didn't like Genting that much because I freakin' go there every year. Omg. If anyone mention anything bout genting anymore I swear I would choke and die. Well, everything is so expensive up there even McDonald's is not affordable anymore. McFlurry up there costs RM8 bucks plus tax. Bodoh sial. But that didn't stop us from pigging out. I ate so much that I had to walk to McD in First World to get my supper at 12 something in the morning. Yays!

Not so yay-ing after all. Because on the way back, Sally and I were being stalked and followed. Omg so scary okay! There were 5 McD workers. 4 males and 1 female. Just got off worked. So the female went on a bike. And we were walking back to our hotel room with food in our hands. (Oh I bought 1 regular set of Ayam Goreng McD, 1 regular set of Chicken McDeluxe, 6 pieces of McNuggets, and 1 Vanilla Sundae Cone which costed me RM40. So freakin' expensive!). I was munching on my Sundae Cone in the cold and Sally was having her McFlurry (Yes! In the cold!) I was wearing my pyjamas (t-shirt and my abercrombie long pants) and Sally in her jeans and long sleeves shirt. So we were just walkin by the road and we noticed somebody whistling and calling for us. I didn't turn my head to look at them because I don't want to let them know we notice them. Sally freaked out and suggested we should call our boyfriends (who were in the room ahemz..) to get us. And the sound from the bike and their whistling and teasing got louder and louder which freaked Sally even more. Sally wanted to run but I asked her not to because this would make them chase us more. Plus, I think they could have outran us. So scary. And They practically followed us from McD til our hotel, well almost. When we got up the stairs they were gone because they couldn't come up with the bike and all. Almost reaching we found both our boyfriends panting. Awww...They ran from the hotel room to the escalator place (which was quite far from the room) as soon as they got out phone call. Baby was so worried. Haha, I promised I won't go anywhere alone anymore. It was really scary because there were 5 of them and only both of us girl in the dark. Okay pictures..

Sally and Gab

In the cable car on the way up. On the right, somebody showing his magic trick for God knows how many times. Omg. And the victim was Indra. Hahahaha!!


Sally and I in the room. Yeah la it wasn't that cold and I was in my tube top.

I took this view from our room's balcony the next morning when everyone was still getting ready for breakfast. I got up the earliest! Can you believe it?! Oh, I love how the clouds lined up.

Train ride

My papa beard. Urm.. I don't know but I swear the cotton candy was purple!

Okay, I'm lazy to post more pictures. Anyways, sayang and I met this Korean couple when we went on monorail ride and the girl can speak perfect English urm not so perfect but better than I expected. Both of them were really nice. They were asking for places to go in KL and whatnots. I am amazed at how these foreigners would go from one place to another, barely speaking the language, and just explore the places all by themselves. I would like to do that someday.

Overall, the trip was quite fun especially watching Shutter (horror film) at 2am in one room with 10 person squeezing together. Indra was so funny, she was calling for Rondy when Rondy went away. HAHA. And she jumped on us when we were trying to sleep cuz Sally and Gab scared her. Omg. I was shocked but it was so funny. And we screamed like gila. Oh, when we were trying to sleep at 4 something in the morning after the horror film, Kelvin, Indra and I heard somebody knocking once on our bathroom door which was closed btw. And it scared the shit out of us. Sally and Gab were sleeping soundly. Bloody hell. And before the horror film started, Indra went back to our room next door to grab some pillows and she said she did locked the door but when sayang and I went back to get something, the door was wide opened! @.@ Okay whatever.

Yum..

I'm in love....soooooooooooooooo in love right now.

Why do you have to be so sweet? I crave for you. I didn't know I'll be this into you. I know it is bad but I can't help it. I just can't. I need you! I want you! Especially now during the holidays. I just wish I can have more of you. Sigh....

Yea, I was talkin bout dried mangoes. Omg, I love them! And it was so freakin' expensive for that few pieces.

Pa

Sometimes love doesn't have to be so physical nor verbal. It all comes from within.

"Pa, I'm goin to Genting on Monday."
"With who?!" Eyes widened and wrinkles formed at the corner of those eyes. He looked angry and fierce for a moment but turned to concerned and worried the next. For a moment I thought he disapproves but then he blurted those words..

"My friend told me there was an accident involving a bus today in Genting."
And he continued to look worried.

And yet, he didn't disapprove it. I know you love me daddy. I love you too.

MV, Bangsar and others

Finally exam's over! Yeap you heard me.

E X A M I S O V E E E E E E E R !


*jumps for joy*

Lalalalala~ Now I can prison break, grey's anatomy, heroes, ugly betty all I want! Wooohoooo! *wiggles ass*

Somehow the last paper was the most terrible one and I just couldn't stop myself from being a cry baby. Well oh well, sad things aside. Guess what?


I WENT SHOPPING FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER SO LONG.
Those sleepless nights for studying last minute cuz I only had one week of study break. YES ONE BLOODY WEEK FOR 6 SUBJECTS! Those nights when I slaved myself through huge piles of thick ass books. Those nights of nonstop caffeine consumption eventhough I hated coffee. (I loathe coffee..bleeeuuurrgghhh!!) Those frustrated and stressful nights. And my panda eyes and bad skin, hair, mood days! It was so exhillarating to finally get out of my confinement. I feel so alive man....


If I had enough cash I would have bought the whole cat whiskers, zara, topshop, miss selfridge, gossip, mng, or maybe the whole bangsar and midvalley back. Gosh, I really missed shopping. I used to eat sleep breathe shopping. But somehow it's weird because I don't seem to know how to shop anymore. All I did was just browsing through the racks full of clothes and sighed. YEAH! I let out siggghhhhh after siggghhhhh looking at those things that I would usually grab to the fitting room/fight with other people to get my hands on them. Maybe I didn't have enough cash with me that's why. No, I am not a bimbo. Haha!


Meeting up with Mei Wen and Mei May brought me back to the good ol' days back in highschool. Yea, I missed BBGS. Nope, not SBU but BBGS. I missed the gallery, our "old place", our moral class, our art class in the canteen block (I still remember I was so afraid of the teacher *shudders*), our choral speaking practices, how we would bring each other's house down during sports day, our water balloon throwing sessions on the last day of school, our endless presentations with urm...our Science teacher back in Form 1 and 2. She was so fierce. I forgot her name. Puan Noraini ah? She made us did those Folio Sains and presentations. And Stephanie made me got PUNISHED by her cuz she was talkin to me in the lab during presentation. I was so angry and humiliated. I wasn't talking! Grrrrrrrr...Anyways, yea I missed those days.


But we are all so different now aren't we? Oh yeah, Mei Wen agreed to wear like lap sap poh but she was so dressed up which made me even more lap sap standing beside her. EHH HEELS AREN'T LAP SAP OKAY. AND YOUR JEANS, BAG, PONCHO, EARRINGS! Sui Mei Wen. Change surname la you! Rawr! Anyways, somebody was late again.

Note to self: Don't be early when going out with Mei Wen and don't dress down. AHAHAHA!

Now, back to the story. Mei May! You lost weight! Oh god and she's so soft spoken already. I think I am the noisiest already. Okay I must train myself to shut up from now on. Rawr!! I think it's a mission impossible. I talk too much and too loud! *grins*

Lunch at Piccolo Mondo = broke. Okay la, I'd only paid RM27 for my pasta and it wasn't as good as last time but the shrimps were so fresh and juiceeeyyyyyy!! Me like! I had the Aglio Olio.

There were so many shrimps! Not just one but MANY! Baby will love this =P

While waiting for our food to come we were yakking and yakking and yakking away while giggling and doing stupid gestures. People there constantly turned their heads and looked at us. I guess we talked too loud. Haha. Then we went shopping and saw Yheng Mun and Shen-Myin with the bf in MNG. They went to MV right after exam. Haha. On a totally unrelated note, Ronald texted me saying we got quite a good grade for IF's coursework. I was so happy! Passing rate is definitely higher right now. Hehehe.

Then Mei May had to leave early. Mei Wen and I did the unthinkable. WE WENT TO BANGSAR. Yeah, we were both deprived what to do. Then we walked the whole Bangsar. Well, almost. Fun hanging out with you girls. We're so gonna do it again right? But with more people! Hehe.

Oh before I click publish..

Thinkin' of you. I miss you dearly. Can't wait til Saturday *wink*

Why?

3.30pm on the way home from uni after Marketing paper.
Avril Lavigne's Why was playing loud.
I was singing away.
Song ended.
Played back.
Sang again and tears just flowed down my cheeks.
Took out shades and continue singing with tears in my eyes.


I had no idea why but that just happened. Marketing paper? No. Couldn't be. I have no idea why.


Oh...on a totally unrelated note..

Isn't this the cutest thing ever?

Home 'sweet' home

Lookin' busy....

But looks can be deceiving...Look at what the buggers were doing in the library!

The studious ones. Sally is on the left. Yeah la I looked like I was sleeping but I was actually studying leh. This is how I study at home too but instead, on the bed. This explains why I always fall asleep studying. Who on earth study on the bed lying flat on the stomach?!! Me lor T.T (ehh..why the caption so damn long wan?!)

Oh. I was uploading the last picture of me studying right...it wouldn't load. Then I waited for VERY VERY LONG. Kept waiting..waiting and waiting. The stupid picture just wouldn't come out. Nvm wait some more..and this is what I got..

"We're sorry, but we were unable to complete your request. The following Errors were found:

blogID : Required field must not be blank"

HARLOW?! I know la I don't usually study except for when I can smell dooms day plus I didn't do so well last semester and please even if I didn't do so well I still passed* okay so don't look down on me wtf! (must read all in one breath okay!) But when I wanna post a pic of me studying please let me! Blogger hates me too T.T I spent most of my time in that cold shitty place called library. Home 'sweet' home indeed.

Oh...3 down 3 more to go!!! Go go Nicole! (it kinda rhymes)

*yeah la I didn't pass finance. hehehehehehe.

What if?

What would it be if you didn't leave HELP? Things will be different that's for sure. Maybe you will be in Aussie now laughing your ass off with Alvin. Maybe we'll be chatting over Skype and "dating" over the webbie. Or maybe not. Maybe we will long for each other's touch, kiss and most of all presence. Maybe we will only meet after a few months' or even a year's time. Maybe we weren't together anymore. Sometimes I wonder how things will turn out and where will it take us if you weren't here with me. Maybe you'll be happier.

I am sorry for making you leave HELP. At least I think I did. But baby, I'm glad that you're still here with me and I still long for you every single day. I love you! =)

2 down 4 more to go!

These few days are gonna be so hectic!! OMP was fine but AED was shit. Oh well! What's done is done. I am studying for marketing but I am so distracted right now. Yeah la!! I am sleepy! And the bed never looked as tempting before *yawns* I need to finish 2 chapters before I can go to bed. Marketing is this Thursday! *ho humm*

Oh something embarrassing happened on Friday before AED. I was texting Alicia while walking out of the library and Indra was talking to me. So I looked at her and *bam* I ran into the barricade near the librarian counter. It was so embarrassing and I almost fell sayang saved me from falling. And I scratched my newly painted toe nail (I painted them black). It was so painful la T.T

Lesson learnt. Don't sms when you're walking and talking at the same time. Just don't multitask when you're not supposed to la. Damn barricades! If I cut my toe and I cannot walk anymore then it's your fault! -.-"

In battle mode...

Life's "great". Sleeping at 6 in the morning makes everything great. Waking up just in time to see the sun sets is even greater. Slaving away in front of those thick pile of notes makes everything larger than life. Life's good. Oh...my right eye was swollen and mom bought me eye drops so the swell has gone down a bit (don't worry I am still beautiful. hahahahahha). I just hope it'll be okay by tomorrow because I have to sit for AED paper!!! Damn...I'm no where near completing my revision. The battle has just begun! *ho hum*

Let's fight....Muahahhahahhahahaha!

*must be the caffeine...sighhh..*

OMP is fun to read

I was studying OMP and I saw this case study. Too funny to be missed.

Memorandum to all staff
From: the Board of Management
Subject: Retirement policy

As a result of the reduction of money budgeting for departmental areas, we are forced to cut down on the number of our personnel. Under the plan, older employees will be asked to go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.

Those being required to retire early may appeal to upper management. To make this possible there will be a Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers (SCREW). The appeal process will be known as SHAFT (Scream to Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy employees may be early retired once, SCREWED twice and SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If the employee follows the above procedures, he or she will be entitled to HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance). As HERPES is considered a benefit plan, any employee who has received HERPES will no long be SCREWED of SHAFTED by the company.

Management wishes to reassure the younger employees who remain on board, that the company will continue to see that they are well trained through our Special High Intensity Training known as SHIT. The company takes pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any other company in the area. If any employees feels he or she does not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure that you receive all the SHIT you can stand.


Omg...I cannot believe I just typed all that out. Haha. It's so funny yet relevant. Now I know why Dr. Thomas likes this author. Haha!!

Dislikes

Dislikes:
1. Having the word "fine" or "whatever" as a reply (it is very rude..to me it is. tell me this and i will shut up on you forever. yes i don't care who or what are you.)
2. Disappointment
3. Smelly people (yes, sometimes my nose does the thinking)
4. People who brag too much...wayyyyyyyy to much
5. Control freak (but I am one myself)
6. Durians (I hate hate hate hate the smell)
7. Being nagged/lectured/scolded/yelled at/criticised/talked about (mind your own business)
8. Mosquitoes (somehow they love me)
9. Waiting for something/someone (sick of it)
10. Exams (who doesn't?)

....and more

April

"What the fuck is up with April? Is it just me, or in the last few weeks has there not been a TON of posts about girls unhappy in their relationships? Frankly, I've been feeling it too. My boyfriend and I have been having some problems recently, and while we are working them out, and it is going well, I can't help but think - why are so many girls hurting right now? Is it the rainy weather? The fact that university semesters are almost/are over? Or is it just a weird coincidence?"

Taken from bunny_tsukino on LJ.

Yeah..I felt it too because I had one of the worst days early April. But everything's good right now. Right???

Speaking of April, today marks the last day of April which means somebody no longer is the king anymore! Hahahahaha! Man, I'm evil *grins*

Oh, i changed the background of my desktop. I feel so gloomy everytime I on my laptop now. Life's a bitch. Haha.

Dilemma

I have been thinking a lot.
But I can't really let go..
Should I? Maybe I shouldn't.
How would people see me as a person then?
People judge.
Perhaps I will be judged differently for what I will be doing.
But I don't care.
Should I?
But I really want to....for a change.
I think I'll be really comfortable with it.
Hmmm......








Should I cut my hair? I need it for a change. Maybe during the holidays. Hehe.

No title

Waited for the whole day and this is what I get.

Maslow my ass

Camped in the library for almost half a day yesterday. Yes, 3-9 pm. We are THAT crazy. Somehow I am so tired of "studying". Not being able to concentrate is another thing. Management is driving me nuts. Why are management subjects so plain annoying? First, you learned bout a management theory in Semester One and only found out that you are learning a new theory to prove it wrong in Semester Two? Give me a break.

Yea, so Maslow was saying you have to satisfy your basic needs to achieve higher needs according to the hierarchy of needs. Bullshit la. We get motivated according to our own priorities. Everyone has different priorities, therefore, different sets of needs. We don't get motivated according to a fixed sets of needs =S This is what I think personally. Says who you have to satisfy your physiology and safety needs before achieving social, exteem and self-actualisation needs? I can achieve all at the same time can't I? Urggghhh!! Screw OB la. I am just so frustrated right now. When you are all confortable with something, you just feel so reluctant to change and adapt.

Before I get too educational, I snapped a lot of pictures yesterday in the library and outside. Will post them up when I have the time. Might spend another day in the library tomorrow, if bi wants to go. I am exhausted - physically and mentally. Even coffee doesn't help. I need love.. =(

Hope

Hoping and wishing..
Sometimes things happen when you hope less.
I am happy that it happened =)

Introducing...Babo!!

Today was the most unproductive day ever! I slept for like...I lost count but it felt like forever. Now my back, throat, head, urm....neck hurt. I only did 4 pages! What is this?! I promised never to sit next to that someone in the library ever again. Haha!! Stop tempting me with mobile games la!! Exams dei.. You want me to die is it?! Oh I love my tamagotchi. I named it Babo (I don't know why la don't ask me!!) Oh..I forgot to feed my lovely pet and I don't know what it is but I heard it changes colour as it grows! Yes yes, turn mine rainbow please. *grins*

Jeng jeng jeng!!! Tamagotchi people!!! On my mobile!!!

Let's begin!

Baby babo..-.-"

Zero discipline (like me)

See see!! Its name is really Babo!

After I fed him he gave me shit. What the....


And then....he turned into this! I thought he died T.T Why not rainbow colour?

And he fell sick just like me but I gave him medicine and he recovered faster than me!

Good night Babo..*pecks forehead wtf*

Okay..my turn to sleep now. Long day awaits tomorrow.

Goodbye to you

Are you gonna leave me again?
Yea, I thought so too.


---------------------------------

Wohh....My fingers can be used as an eraser. You see la what happened to my laptop.


Notice anything wrong?



!!!!! The keyboard is eating up my E!!!



My A got swallowed T.T My new laptop dei. Sudah mati dei. T.T


What caused this?!!!! Maybe I need to use gloves when I type. Hohoho. Like fishmonger. I thought of drawing the alphabets myself using liquidpaper. Haha. Can ah you think? But my hand not steady la.

Sick + Stressed = Psycho

Sometimes all I need are friends who could just stop telling lies for a day. This is all I am asking for. I've been dealing with selfish people for God knows how long and I thought things will be different in uni. So wrong. Whatever.

OOOOHHHHHHH...I'm finally sick! After so long! I am not a weak person at all but this time, Nottingham killed me. Yeah la I am very stressed right now. Gonna explode anytime. Come disturb me la I will fart wan. Will I pass with flying colours this time? I need to. I have to!!! I cannot afford to risk my 30%!! People pray for me okay! I wanna get first class honours. Haha. (yeah dream on)

And I thought of you today..(but you merajuk. eat shit la you!)

Syok sendiri

I've been sneezing the whole day since last night. Somebody must have been thinking of me a lot. -.-"

Didn't study much. 10 pages in 2 days. I am such a champion la. And I have the time to camwhore. What to do. I looked into the mirror and saw a huge thing right in the middle of my face. Of course I didn't believe my own eyes. So I went for the camera. And I found out....

I have pointy nose (quite la..) Not clear? Nvm see next.

Ignore the eyes and others. Just focus at the nose la. Quite high right?

Muahahaha! I don't have a flat nose! Sayang!! Our babies must have my nose okay?!!! *syok sendiri*

Okay back to AED. *dreadful* Will blog bout Good Charlotte tomorrow.

After A While

After A While
by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.


And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child


And you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.


After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.


And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...


and so, i learn...

Say it isn't so

If it isn't so
Why does my heart feel this way?

If it isn't so

Then why things have to be so obvious?

If it isn't so

Why do I fear?

If it isn't so

Why are those coincidence?

Say it isn't so..

For I will have many more sleepless nights to come

forgotten

he forgot to say "love you"

Twilight Realm

The only "decent" picture of us of that night. Hahaha! Yeah I looked like crap in all of them. So no pics. Boooo!! I look terrible with flash on la.


Shino and I. Finally a decent picture of me. -.-"

If you ask me the dinner was bleh because I was bored and I almost fell asleep waiting for the food. The food was so so and I thought the first dish was grass =S Looks like it. HAHA! Look at the greens. Urgghhh! I liked the mushroom and abalone though. And I thought the black stuff were vinegar but it tasted like oyster sauce. Yeah. Horrigible. Bodoh!

Oh...I love my dress! I think it's so simple and elegant. But I had no make up on except for eyeliner and a bit of eye shadow. My hair was a disaster because I didn't bother to do anything to it. Whatever. Not my wedding also. But I still look gorgeous la right right right??!! Perasan gila. Okay otak jam now. I wanna sleep. Ciaoz.

ps: Didn't go for after party because we had CIMA Conference the next day at 8am in the morning. Crazy.

Concert

Happy happy. I'm done with assignment! But it's time to study for exams. Bummer!
Semester 2 is ending soon which means I will be graduating soon. A little sad. But holidays!! Omg! 4 months!! Babi la. I don't know what I will do for the whole 4 months.

The concert was great though it started out rocky. Didn't really enjoy as much as the previous one. Got a bit sad towards the end for some reasons. I'm beginning to love going to concerts. I'm going to the Good Charlotte's one on Saturday in Bukit Jalil. Free tickets from Chintan! Looking forward to it!

Oh. I slept til 4pm today. When I got up, my eyes were so red as if I cried in my sleep. So scary.

ps: wanted to post pictures but photobucket is screwed so no pictures. booooooooooooo!

Broken

Made a huge mistake.
Became heartless.
Swamped with guilt and regret.
In hopes of dreaming that everything would be like it was before.
Only that it is impossible.
Worse day of my life.

hmm

mixed feelings...

sohainya aku

hari ini aku bangun awal dan lepak sepanjang hari. indahnya. akan tetapi hatiku berasa tidak selesa. entah kenapa. mungkin aku terlalu banyak berfikir. oh! dia tidak membalas sms aku. mungkin dia tidak senang. tidak apalah. eh. ada orang rindu aku. kelakarnya. akan tetapi mengapa aku tidak berasa gembira? mungkin dia bukan orang itu jadi aku tidak peduli. aduh, kenapalah aku menaip dalam bahasa melayu? aku sudah lama tidak berbahasa ini jadi memang teruk sikit. takpelah kan? bukannya ada orang baca. sohai betul la. aku hanya menangis sedikit sahaja hari ini. mungkin besok tidak akan lagi. hari hari pun sohai. aku sangat the sohai.

ohhhh maria!!! tetiba saja aku terasa nak jerit itu ohhhh maria!! kenapa kan itu movie perfume tidak dipanggil minyak wangi? instead, dipanggil kisah seorang pembunuh. wahahahhaa. randomnya aku ni. kan dah gila. ohhhhh!!! aku harus continue kat aku punya assignment.

sucky bm. hahahaha. i don't even know wtf i was saying. too bored. what to do la what to do!! okay i wanna go melabur...ehh i mean melabur some idea to my assignment. ciao.

why do all good things come to an end

looking at you looking at me
searching for the truth in your eyes
i know what's left of us
find myself so lost
i don't recorgnise anymore
the person now that you claim to be
the way our path has crossed
but i guess we're drifting away
from each other
come back to me
make me whole again
and i will make you happy
i can feel your high
but not when you're with me
come back to me
things will be different
i promise
let me be the one to hold you tight
let me be the one to share laughter with
let me be the one to say i love you to
let me love you
do not walk away
are we too far gone for me to save?
and i never thought that we'd come to this
lost count of the reasons to cry
honestly
what is it gonna be
why do all good things come to an end?

Talipon-ing without the talipon.

*points to the title* OMG I'M SO FUNNY!!! HAHAHAHA *dies*
I'm so lame.

I'm so full right now. Went to Talipon for dinner and guess what. WE ATE THE WHOLE RESTAURANT! Okay la not that serious but we almost did. We were there for 2 hours. 2 hours of pure eating session *dies* Talk about losing weight for annual dinner la. Oh I haven't gotten myself a dress and shoes for the dinner. Too broke and no time. Busy busy busy me! Somebody's birthday coming soon, dinner coming soon, assignment handing in soon, exams coming soon! Omg.

Somebody saw something in Talipon. Disgusting.

Good news! I'd written 2 sentences on my essay for today. Such a big achievement! *feels proud* I really need some time off from the laptop. Been spending too much time here til my otak jam and I think I am going blind (in case I go blind I need people to help me get dressed and stuff every morning because I don't wanna be an ugly blind girl. yeah la I wanna maintain cannot meh? wtf)

I hate to say this but to you who only come to me when you need me or bored. I am so sick of you. I am nobody's fool but my own. So don't you *tooting* treat me like a toilet seat. You don't come to me only when you need me. I won't *tooting* layan you next time. Hello and goodbye. Moron.

Speechless

I am sorry for hurting you. I am hurt too. I don't know what to say really. Is it wrong to make friends? I really don't know what to say.

Clumsy

I cut my upper lip when I was eating a piece of cake out of the aluminium foil. I'm so clumsy and it's so painful T.T

Bullshit

Girl: Why you can go and I can't? Why you're always the one who's leaving and I'm always the one who's left behind?
Guy: It's because I can't stand waking up everyday knowing you're gone.
Girl: Then what about me? Why are you so selfish?
Guy: Because I know you're strong enough.

Bullshit. It's just some lame excuses that people give when they wanna leave. All bulls!

Sife Fashion Show

Sife fashion show was a total let down. I didn't get to dance. I didn't get to drink. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SEE THE FASHION SHOW. Okay la. Half of it maybe. And we got shoo-ed out after that and didn't get to go back in because 2 of our friends weren't allowed to go in. Underage shit.

Got fed up and went to Bintang Walk for sisha instead. My first time and it felt weird. Most prolly will be my last time. Went to Steven's Corner for supper or was it dinner? Hmmm. Dinner I supposed.

Somebody got angry for something which I don't know what. Sigh...

Car wash

Funny shit. Today I had my car being washed by the SA executives. I couldn't resist because Chintan, Matt, and Gerard cornered me in SA.

*was chit chatting with Sarah while waiting for Alicia to come out from toilet*

Gerard: Hey, wanna have your car washed?
Me: I don't think so. Thanks.
Gerard: Does Kelvin has a car?
Me: Nope not today.
Gerard: Come la wash. It's for the annual dinner!

*Matt came over*

Matt: Wanna have your car washed? *speaks through the pembesar suara*
Me: No thanks *smiles*
Matt: Why not?

*here comes Chintan*

Chintan: Wanna have your car washed?
Gerard: She refused.
Chintan: Why are you refusing? It's for charity *in his accent*
Gerard & Matt: Yeah it's for the annual dinner.
Me: How much is it? RM10 onwards right?
Chintan: What car you driving?
Me: Myvi. It's a small car.
Chintan: Then probably RM10. You wanna get your car washed yea?
Me: Yeah I'll do it for charity then.

*then Chintan and I went to get my car*

Wtf. But since they'd been so supportive of our charity concert then it's time for me to at least repay their kindness. Haha. And it costed me RM14 wei. *dies*

Here's the video of them *ahems* playing with water and my car.



Wtf it took me forever to upload it to youtube. Yeah I was giggling all the way with Alicia and in the end Chintan was trying to get us wet as well. So much for paying RM14. They don't even wipe it dry for me. Only external cleaning and the interior is very much the same. ROTTEN! I tell you, if you ride in my car you should really see the state of it inside. So dirty! I need a personal car washer.

After the car washed Matt was speaking Mandarin to me through the pembesar suara wtf. He can speak better than me! Oh Chintan just found out through Gerard that I'm Kelvin's gf. He was like "you and Kelvin are goin out?" Haha. And Gerard complimented saying the charity concert was a success and he will tell Paul bout it because he was being quite *coughs*pessimistic*coughs* bout it.

Learn

I am afraid of you. Afraid of how you will react upon me telling you things. Afraid of the arguments that we will have. Afraid of having my heart being broken everytime.

I don't know if I am dumb or you are unreasonable. Sometimes things are easier said than done. Most of the time the soft side overcome the better part of me. It's hard to say no when people are so persistent. This is something I must but have yet to learn. Maybe you are right but I am not wrong either. Yes, it's been quite some time since we argue bout my insecurities and yet, we still find ways to argue about something else. It's so unnecessary ain't it? I know what is wrong and what is right. And I know you cared from the way you reacted. Just don't rush things. Life is about learning and we will spend our lifetime trying to figure out stuff. So let this be a lesson for me to learn and remember nobody can learn something overnight.

I just hope that you will understand me more sometimes. And make me understand you.

Tai Zhi Cafe

This is so shockalingam. I am blogging in a cafe in Connaught with Alicia sitting opposite me and her friend beside us. Supposed to do assignment but I am procrastinating again (yeah la Kan Kel Vin shuddup la. I will do it after this. Haha.) Never been to this place before and I'm so jakun.

Oh oh! I saw the person I stalk on blog just now. She was sitting the table next to us. She's so so so so skinny. The world is small. Smaller than my boobs wth.

Ahh...China is staring at me now. So scary. Ciaoz!

Learning to speak

I wanna learn how to speak like a Brit. The accent is so sexy.

Trip to KL

Somebody got a haircut. No it's not me. I wonder what I'll look like with shorter hair. Maybe I gotta grow more hair because I am losing a lot now. *stress* I think I'm balding.

Oh back to the haircut. Yes! My baby is so hot now *feels proud* (yeah la cannot be proud issit now). We went to KL on Friday to get his hair cut. I waited for 45 minutes like an idiot. Hair was flying everywhere and I think I ate some *blleeuurrgghh!*

Such a shame I don't have the pictures of him with me now. It's been such a long time since I last snapped a picture. Ahhh I miss those cam-whoring days.

After the haircut, we took Loke Yew to get back to Imbi. We parked quite far and somebody kept vain-ing in the car. Your hair is nice la! *rolls eyes* Then we walked to the clinic. Holymotherofcows! So many people waiting! Got myself registered and the nurse asked me to come back in 3 hours time! WTH WTH WTH!!! 3 HOURS! Nvm la. Walked all the way to Fruity Stall and ate like pigs. Mango loh was too sweet for my liking though. We were sitting down there like idiots cuz it was raining and there's no way for us to walk back to the clinic. In the end, we just ran back to the clinic while it was still drizzling (my hair turned ugly after that).

When we opened the door, it was still packed with people. Thank god la it's almost my turn. Doctor said nothing much could be done. *heart breaks* Oh then right the stupid nurse was so rude cuz I couldn't hear her calling my name to collect the medicine. When I went to her she was like 'Why call so many times don't know how to come wan?!' Eh! I pay you okay. So stop complaining and show me faces. But I said my sorry cuz I am raised with manners.

Then off we went to timesquare! When we reached sayang asked me to grab my sweater cuz I will catch a cold in the cinema. I thought we have no time for movie! Wahahahaha!! Movie movie! It's been so long. We watched 300! Banyak nice. SPARTANSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! PREPARE YOUR BREAKFAST! And eat it hearty because TONIGHT WE'LL DINE IN HELL! Wtf. I love this movie. But before that we went to get present for aunty. We got her an aquamarine pendant with small diamonds and huge aquamarine stone. It's her birthday stone. We didn't get the necklace though. Kinda broke and the pendant itself costed a bomb.

While I'm typing this Nelly Furtado is on MTV. She's so hot. So gorgeous la! I wanna have her deep set eyes and also her skin her hair her nose. She's so pretty!

Before I got too carried away..Dinner in Kenny Rogers sucked. Nando's is wayyyyyyyy better. Even the mashed potato sucked. Tasted like baby food. Could be worse since I've never tasted baby food before.

Am I slow or what? I just realised we have labels for posts. But I don't know what should this post be categorised as. Whatever la kan? Okay la. Time for assignment and 20 mins from now gonna watch Falcon Beach! Loving the theme song Beautiful Blue by Holly McNarland. So soothing.

Jobless

Yays! Guess what.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I missed class again!!! Yeah la. I got up late. At 9am to be precise. My class was at 9am and I got up at 9am. I did nothing in uni today cuz the Organising and Managing in Practice lecture was postponed. Got to know from gwmail that Thomas' car broke down and yada yada yada. Yea, so besides group meeting I did nothing in uni today! Didn't look for Mr. Lee Chew Ging. Been trying to talk to him for the past 2 weeks but still couldn't get him in his room. Forgotten to sign up for Managing in Asia tutorial cuz I FORGOT! Where was my brain *sob sob* Didn't study cuz was too busy minding people's businesses. Yeah la. Was helping Syed with his Entertainment Officer's Manifesto. Didn't do much in the end. Missed 3 lectures this week T.T

Somehow I was very happy because I just felt happy. Weeeeeeeeeee!! Yea, I was happy =D

Song For Life Aftermath

Thomas says "Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern."

I'd skipped a lot of classes this semester. I made a vow not to miss any classes and study accordingly, preferably everyday. Look at what happened now. I am missing classes 3 weeks in a row and I rant bout how I have no time for assignment and studies whereas I only have 2 days of classes. So much time to kill so little will power to start on anything. I am lazy.

At least I am enjoying uni right now compared to what I had back in college. Now is indeed way better but to my dismay I am graduating next year. So soon! No I don't wanna work so soon. The career event in uni is scaring the hell outta me. Interviews, assessments, recruitment screening tests. @.@ Just hire me and sack me if you dislike me la! Why wanna torture me with those screening shits! Don't think I am applying for any internship this year. I don't even have my resume done. I need it done professionally but I don't know how *beams*. Yes, you heard me. Who is angelic enough to do it for me? Preferably sit for the interviews also la so I won't have to go through nightmares.

Oh on a totally unrelated note, I had one whole slice of salmon all by myself for supper. So fat!

Right so I was saying..I need my resume done! I am kinda interested in working for Accenture, BAT or KPMG. But entering BAT would be difficult because I have to go through 4 screening tests leh. And I wouldn't like smelling tobacco everyday. Did I say that I dislike smokers? Yeah I dislike them eventhough my father smokes. Quit it already! Grrrrrrrrrr.

Okay la. Potong stim la. I have to log off now cuz I have Indonesia (assignment) waiting for me. Bye love!


ps: I miss having meeting every Tuesday at 5pm and the feeling of eager anticipation of the concert. I wanna have another one! Maybe I have to anticipate for the next one if that's gonna happen. Please make it happen before I graduate *prays*